Dont Wanna Go

Thanks to the wonderful communication tool that is Facebook, I have now been invited to my high school reunion. I has hoping that I would fade into oblivion when it came to my high school, however it appears that once you add more than ten high school friends to your Facebook page, it's cause for a "Reunion". Fifty five invites later and we have ourselves a rather large "Reunion". I now have to decide whether I want to put myself through the torture of three hours at a suburban venue full of women with whom I have absolutely nothing in common... except having gone to the same high school as them.

I look through each of their Facebook pages and I cringe at their indulgence in baby pics, hens party plans, and wedding photos. What the heck am I going to say to these people?

"Oh, you had a stripper at your hens night? I saw a man stripper once but that was because I was incredibly intoxicated and out at a work function and he was one of my colleagues...."

"Nice, what a cute baby that is. He's gorgeous. If only I could stop suing people and arguing contract clauses long enough to create one myself."

"Congratulations on your wedding but you really should have come to me first for that pre-nup."

I am concerned that I will not be able to spend the entire three hours without realising that I am, in fact, a barren, overworked, far-too-successful-for-my-own-good female that left her high school days well and truly behind her. And should I come to that realisation while I am still at the function, there is a good chance that I will get myself drunk and commence telling each and every person there that the only reason why I was nice to them for all of those years was because it was for my own survival and sanity, not because I actually liked them.