Public Announcement

Shoot me now before I go crazy.

Wait. I suspect I already am.

I need the next 10 days to go by, and I can get my sh*t back in a pile and refocus. I need to get into gainful employment once again so that I can be tired each night.

Until then, I shall continue to randomly blog.

Dont Wanna Go

Thanks to the wonderful communication tool that is Facebook, I have now been invited to my high school reunion. I has hoping that I would fade into oblivion when it came to my high school, however it appears that once you add more than ten high school friends to your Facebook page, it's cause for a "Reunion". Fifty five invites later and we have ourselves a rather large "Reunion". I now have to decide whether I want to put myself through the torture of three hours at a suburban venue full of women with whom I have absolutely nothing in common... except having gone to the same high school as them.

I look through each of their Facebook pages and I cringe at their indulgence in baby pics, hens party plans, and wedding photos. What the heck am I going to say to these people?

"Oh, you had a stripper at your hens night? I saw a man stripper once but that was because I was incredibly intoxicated and out at a work function and he was one of my colleagues...."

"Nice, what a cute baby that is. He's gorgeous. If only I could stop suing people and arguing contract clauses long enough to create one myself."

"Congratulations on your wedding but you really should have come to me first for that pre-nup."

I am concerned that I will not be able to spend the entire three hours without realising that I am, in fact, a barren, overworked, far-too-successful-for-my-own-good female that left her high school days well and truly behind her. And should I come to that realisation while I am still at the function, there is a good chance that I will get myself drunk and commence telling each and every person there that the only reason why I was nice to them for all of those years was because it was for my own survival and sanity, not because I actually liked them.

Cry Me A River

This is a shout out to Maria "My Life is Nothing" Ferroever (www.ihaveaboat.blogspot.com). I know what it feels like to be stuck waiting for the next chapter of life to begin. I think the sailing term is "the Doldrums". Where there's no wind, you arent moving forward, you are just waiting. 9 days to go until the next chapter of my life can begin. So glad. I'm well and truly over the current chapter.

What the Heck?

"At least 12 people have been killed in the South African city of Johannesburg since Friday in a wave of violence directed at immigrants, police say."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7407055.stm

What is wrong with this world??? This stuff makes me sick.

Counting Down the Days

Its 2.30am and I can't sleep. So I have turned on my laptop and am now sitting, reading the newspaper and thinking about how very lucky I am to be me. There is so much death and destruction in the world right now. In Burma, hundreds of thousands of people are at risk of dying from disease as a result of a government that is failing to support its people after a destructive cyclone. In China, 33000 are now confirmed dead after a large earthquake hit the region and the death toll is expected to rise. Here in Sydney today though, we had such a gorgeous autumn day - the sun was shining and a cool breeze was blowing. We are so lucky in this country.

I Was Tagged

EC tagged me - so I am compelled to do this.

So here goes:

List 5 things in my bag:
perfume, Dior sunglasses, ipod, lip gloss, box of matches from the Loft.


List 5 favorite things in my room:
my laptop, photo of my sister and i, bright red chair, my journal, makeup bag.


List 5 things I've always wanted to do:
skydive, work in a third world country, be a travel photographer, drive a ferrari, find a cure for depression.


List 5 things I am currently into:
horse riding, coffee with my girlfriends, tennis, buying makeup, sleeping

Fulfilling a Life Long Dream

I am going skydiving on 4 June 2008!!!

Singing My Song

All you regular readers know these lyrics - I put them on my blog every time I'm feeling like kickin' butt.

They are back!!


Keep On Singin' My Song
Written by Christina Aguilera, Scott Storch

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face
And nobody's gonna bring me down today
Been feeling like nothing's been going my way lately
But I decided right here, right now
That my outlook's gonna change
That's why I'm gonna

Say goodbye to all the tears I've cried
Every time somebody hurt my pride
Feeling like they won't let me live my life and
Take the time to look at what is mine

I see, every blessing, so clearly
And I thank God, for what, I got from above

I believe they can take anything from me, but they
Can't succeed in taking my inner peace from me
They can say all they wanna say about me, but I
I'm gonna carry on (carry on)
I'ma keep on (keep on)
Singing my song, yeah yeah

I never wanna dwell on the pain again, ooh no no
There's no use in reliving how I hurt back then, oh, oh no
Remembering too well the hell I felt
When I was running out of faith, oh
Every step I'm about to take
Well it's towards a better day
'Cause I'm about to

Say farewell to every single lie
And all the fears I've held too long inside
Every time I felt I couldn't try
All the negativity and strife

Cause too long, I've been, struggling, couldn't go on
But now, I've found, I'm feeling strong and I'm moving on

I believe they can take anything from me, but they
Can't succeed in taking my inner peace from me
Now they can say all they wanna say about me, but I
I'm gonna carry on (carry on)
I'ma keep on (keep on)
Singing my song

Every time I tried to be
What they wanted from me
It never came naturally
So I ended up in misery
Was unable to see
All the good around me
Wasting so much energy
On what they thought of me
Than simply just remembering to breathe, ohh ooh
Ohh, I've learned
I'm humanly unable to please
Everyone at the same time
So now I find, my peace of mind
Living one day at a time

In the end I answer to one God
Comes down to one love
Till I get to heaven above
I have made the decision
Never to give in
Till the day I die no matter what
I'm gonna carry on
I'ma keep on, mmm
Singing my song...

I Have a New Job

I am leaving my current job.

I have been appointed as a Legal Counsel - Asia Pacific, for another company.

This means that I finally have a job which will allow me to combine my work with travel.

Let the champagne flow!

Charlotte - Too Cute for Words!

Charlotte - Growing Up Fast!

Gorgeous, isnt she???

Little Ellie Bellie - Miss Personality

My Little Ellie Bellie

Cheeky Kate

I thought that I would get away with posting Madea without too much fanfare, but it appears that Ms. Eternally Curious knew exactly what that you tube clip was and what it meant. I give her unequivocal permission to post it on her website. However, once she did so, I realised that I was not going to get away with just sneaking it onto the page and leaving it there to disappear into the blogger eather as time passes.

Yes, I am trying to work out who in my life is a leaf, a branch or a root. Sometimes there are people in your life who are capable of being roots, but come into your life as branches - unstable, and easily broken once pressure is put on them.

Time to do some gardening, I think!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqDU6CPwy6Q

Martin Luther King
17 November 1957

"I've said to you on many occasions that each of us is something of a schizophrenic personality. We're split up and divided against ourselves. And there is something of a civil war going on within all of our lives. There is a recalcitrant South of our soul revolting against the North of our soul. And there is this continual struggle within the very structure of every individual life. There is something within all of us that causes us to cry out with Ovid, the Latin poet, "I see and approve the better things of life, but the evil things I do." There is something within all of us that causes us to cry out with Plato that the human personality is like a charioteer with two headstrong horses, each wanting to go in different directions. There is something within each of us that causes us to cry out with Goethe, "There is enough stuff in me to make both a gentleman and a rogue." There is something within each of us that causes us to cry out with Apostle Paul, "I see and approve the better things of life, but the evil things I do."

So somehow the "isness" of our present nature is out of harmony with the eternal "oughtness" that forever confronts us. And this simply means this: That within the best of us, there is some evil, and within the worst of us, there is some good. When we come to see this, we take a different attitude toward individuals. The person who hates you most has some good in him; even the nation that hates you most has some good in it; even the race that hates you most has some good in it. And when you come to the point that you look in the face of every man and see deep down within him what religion calls "the image of God," you begin to love him in spite of. No matter what he does, you see God's image there. There is an element of goodness that he can never sluff off. Discover the element of good in your enemy. And as you seek to hate him, find the center of goodness and place your attention there and you will take a new attitude."

I'm Still Here - Warning: Deep Blogging Ahead!

Wow... empty room... no one here.... just me.

Well for those who have come back just to check to see if I am still here, yes. I am still here.

However I come to this page and type these words as a different person. I cannot explain how I am different, why I am different, what it means to be different and what affect its going to have on anyone or anything else. The fact is, I'm different.

I look at the miles I've travelled, the people I've met, the risks that I have taken in my life and the challenges I have set myself. And then I look at the person that I have been for the last six to twelve months and I realise that I have not been 'me'.

I have spent the last six to twelve months trying to work out why the carefree, travelled, risk taking, fearfless girl has not been able to fit into the mould that was being prescribed for her by others around her. 2007 was supposed to be about discovery but rather, I found myself suurounded by dissonence and disillusion. I tried to associate myself as "the ultimate corporate lawyer", only to realise that the power broking with self-important people only left me hollow and unchallenged. I tried to consider myself the "social butterfly" but in doing that, I found myself surrounded by people with empty minds and empty hearts.

I've struggled with the idea that after all of the introspection that I have done over the years may not have necessarily led me any closer to the answer of "what is my purpose?"

If the truth be known, I am who I am and this is my purpose. I'm emotional, I'm passionate, I'm inspired, I'm open, I'm giving, I'm intense, I'm strong, I'm powerful - and I care. Sometimes so much that it hurts me and it hurts others. My friends, my family, my work colleagues, my boyfriends (past, present and future!).

I'm not afraid of people reading this. Because if they came up to me and looked me in the eye and asked me what my purpose is in life, it will be exactly the above. To feel emotion, to be passionate about life, to find inspiration, to be open to whatever comes my way, to give, to intensely believe, to be strong, and to be powerful. This is my purpose.